When you were a little child, you watched Prince Charming slay a dragon to save the helpless, distressed Princess... after which they both fell in love and lived happily ever after.
Then you watched the Hollywood rom-coms where two romantically unsuccessful people spontaneously meet one day... fall heads over heels in love... and overcome all challenges in their way and finally make each other’s lives complete.
Though you may not realise it, watching movies like these made you unconsciously form an opinion of what love is supposed to be.
They made you feel like there’s a hole inside you that only someone else can fill.
You can see this in the Oscar-winning movie Jerry Maguire. At the end of the movie, Jerry, who’s played by Tom Cruise, ran back to his ex-wife from whom he was recently separated and told her the now famous line, “You complete me.”
There are countless other movies in which Hollywood promoted this idea of needing a partner to feel complete.
You started to think, if only you could find the perfect partner, then you would be complete. And you spend the rest of your life searching for them.
Women dream of meeting a Prince Charming who sweeps them off their feet… and guys want to be the hero who comes to their maiden’s rescue.
However, your life isn’t a movie script.
Though they may be fun to watch, these movies portray a delusional and unrealistic idea of love.
Believing you need someone to solve your problems and complete you is a neurotic need and psychologically unhealthy.
Your quest to find “the one” will most likely get you into TOXIC relationships.
Even if you do find a great partner, your neediness for them to complete you will soon poison your relationship.
Eventually, you’ll always want to be with them. You’ll smother them with text messages and constantly seek their validation and approval.
Your relationship won't last long, and you’ll be left heartbroken and depressed.
You won’t feel better until you get into another relationship.
But the cycle will repeat itself.
When you’re NEEDY, you’ll never find lasting love.
You’ll never find certainty.
You’ll never find joy.
You’ll never find significance.
You’ll never find meaning or fulfillment in life.
When you’re needy, you’re looking for something outside yourself to meet your needs, to “complete” you.
However, once you’ve met all of your own needs on your own and in a healthy way and are complete in yourself, then you’ll not only start to find love in relationships with people you’re attracted to…
You’ll be attracted to and naturally hit it off with the right type of people, and your relationships will succeed!
Once you’re complete in yourself, you’ll find fulfillment, happiness, and joy.
You’ll be a secure, confident person who won’t be easily triggered by the words and actions of other people.
If your partner ever freaks out, instead of things escalating, you’ll be able to help them work through their problems… and overcome challenges which will make your relationship even stronger.